Why don't we do what we believe in?
Some thoughts on New Year's resolutions
As we go into 2026, I keep returning to a question that came to mind earlier this year:
Why don’t we do the things we believe to be true?
And if we don’t follow through, do we really believe those things at all?
We can say, “I am a kind person.” But if we are not kind to the cashier at the grocery store, are we actually kind? If we are not kind to the people in our lives, can we still claim that identity?
We can say, “I care about my health.” But do we actually care about our health if we put all our other goals above it and avoid fulfilling our New Year’s gym goal for yet another year?
There is something puzzling about this.
On one hand, there is a belief that the logical side of us thinks is true, or wants to be true, or has been told must be true. On the other hand, there is our consistent refusal to eventually act in alignment with it.
So either we do not really believe it, or we are acting against ourselves.
What causes that?
What is the deep thing within us that keeps us from changing for the better?
Or maybe it is more complex than that.
Perhaps it is a conflict between our true priorities and what some part of us considers a better path forward.
Changing our true priorities can change who we are entirely.
If we trade time with family for time at the gym, we are not just changing our schedule.
We change ourselves & our identity.
But, let’s step back for a second.
New Year’s resolutions are all about setting new habits and goals for the year ahead. We all know the classic: “I’m going to read 20 books this year.” For as long as we can remember, the main explanation for why we do not accomplish our goals has been motivation.
“Hey, you weren’t motivated enough.”
“Next year, find someone to motivate you.”
“Read another self-help book.”
But we have to ask: was it ever motivation? Or was it that we never truly believed in our goal in the first place?
Because if we are honest, some part of us, while making the goal, is already whispering in the back of our minds, “I’m not actually going to do this because XYZ.” Or, “I have this other commitment, and if I can get to it, it would be nice.”
“If I can get to it, it would be nice.”
There is something in that line of thought that quietly demotes the goal. It is not a priority. It is optional.
So, maybe the belief formed from the goal was not a true belief we hold after all.
And, if it is a true belief, then we have some significant thinking and mind reshuffling to do.
So before we even decide on our New Year’s goals, maybe the first thing we should do is internalize what we truly believe in.
What values, beliefs, priorities, and identity do we want to live out in 2026?
If we can really iron that out, the goals, actions, and follow-through may happen as a byproduct.
-Aaron
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